Tuesday, June 30, 2009

before it ends just tell me where to begin

i haven't gotten off my lazy ass to take a bath in TWO days. those are probly my drawers. whew.

the lady i cleaned my house for never took me up on my offer. a little disappointing that all that cleaning was done for nothing. a little disappointing that she's still sitting at the hospital sleeping in those old uncomfortable chairs, but...........what can you do?? leave the invitation open and maybe she'll take it if she decides to.

the plan was to go by and pick him up some antiboredom goodies, but i'm starting to get the impression that may not be necessary. sooo, instead i'm just supposed to head over and visit for a while tomorrow afternoon. ah, the dreaded hospital visit. bleigh. i've always really liked this guy, though. he's always been genuinely kind to me. i hate to be one of those people "i'd rather remember him the way he was." well, THIS is the way he is now. i hate to know he's still alive and "kicking" in a hospital somewhere and i was too selfish because i didn't wanna ruin the way i think of him from 5 years ago. it's not his fault if i can't remember him then and now. maybe i should work on my memory skills.

Monday, June 29, 2009

what a wonderful world

my sister's dead husband's father was recently put into the hospital. he's older and has developed a plethora of health problems. diabetes, dementia, diapers, the works. so, his wife (we'll call her "barbara") has been sleeping in a chair at the hospital for the past few days hoping she'll be able to catch him awake since apparently it's a rarity. so, i told said widowed sister to tell her that if she'd like a real bed to sleep in she'd be more than welcome at my house. i have an extra room and e'erthing. i gave her my number and directions and came home to clean like the dickens. aaaaaaaaaaaaaand so far no mrs. barbara. :( all this scrubbing for naught. maybe. she may be in shreveport for a few more days though. she may break down and come over. i don't really know the lady all that well, but i hate to think of her being forced to sleep all crumpled up in those dasted uncomfortable chairs. it's inhumane to leave her there.

he apparently just slips in and out of consciousness from what i understand and constantly forgets who's there. i gotta figure that when he's awake he's gotta get pretty bored just sitting there waiting to fall back asleep. tomorrow after work, i'm heading to good will. they have paperback books there for 50 cents a piece. maybe i can get him a couple things. deck of cards perhaps?? crossword puzzle?? i dunno.

will let you know how that visit goes. wish him luck!!

Sunday, June 28, 2009

surprise goody basket for the weekend

guess YOU mother fuckers will have to wait till monday!!

i've been without internet for a week now and now that i have it back, i can't think of a damned thing of interest to search. :: sigh :: woe is me. hmph. boring is me, more like it, but i suppose woe will be sufficient enough.

i've *almost* come to terms with the fact that i'm living in the technological "dark ages". i have my really nifty super duper sleek little computer that mr. lovah lovah built for me that i can pretty much play freecell on and look up the occassional youtube video. this and looking at pretty pictures on google are about the extent of my knowledge on the interwebs. i know it's sad. i'll wait while you grab a hankie..................

welcome back!! in an attempt to branch out a little, i've joined Twitter. my name is, as if i even have to tell you: janeqdoe42. AND just so i don't venture TOO far out of character, after signing up for twitter, i had a yelling match with my magic glow box for a good 3 to 4 minutes because i couldn't figure out how to add my damed picture. BAH!! i tell you, BAH!!! so, i *think* i've either got janedoe beside my name in tiny tiny letters or me_being_vein beside my name. as usual, i'll attempt to get someone else to fix this for me in the week to come.

such a neverending noobie. : (

Friday, June 26, 2009

friday morning emails 'round the office.nothing better to do.

did i ever tell you about the guy named robby that victor used to work with at (internet edit)?? he's was a bigger guy, possibly part albino who fell madly in love with me. he used to tell me the only reason he stayed being victor's friend was so he could come to our house and see me. what a dick, right?? WELL. a few months after victor stopped working there, he eventually stopped coming around, because let's face it: i'm kind of a bitch. SO. a few months later than THAT, he said a former co-worker came into the bowling alley(where victor then worked) and told him that robby had died. he had some kind of lung disease and it had finally gotten to him and he died in the hospital a few weeks prior and he had missed the funeral. so, victor came home and told me all about it and i laughed and called him a liar. he got all pissy and yelled at me because one of his friends had died and i didn't even care. so, i said "well, that's cause you're lying." because victor used to make up fanciful stories ALL the time because i'm what you'd refer to as "gullible". we've argued about his death for a year and a half.

day before yesterday, i went to pay my water bill and i was talking to vicky on the phone and said "wow. that looks like the back of robby's head. that's weird." "nuh-uh. robby's dead." "no, seriously. that really looks like the back of robby's head" "NUH UH!! ROBBY IS DEAD!!"

so, i went inside and sure enough. there's stands a big pink robby. alive as.........well. as alive as living things generally are. i said "HEY!! victor told me you died." "WHAT??? WHY??? WHY WOULD VICTOR SAY THAT???" i explained it to him and he got his feelings all kinds of hurt. poor fella. he asked me where i lived and i said "right over there" and he said "yeah, i knew you weren't living in the duplex anymore 'cause i've gone by there a few times." odd. said he was getting married, blah, blah, blah. i'm madly in love but NOT getting married, blah, blah, blah. he offered me his cell phone number but i declined because #1)i hate talking on the phone unless its to victor or stephanie and #2)i'd REALLY rather not start that up again. it was frustrating enough the first time around. nice guy but you can only tell someone you're not interested so many times before you're forced to become a megabitch. "you're so pretty." "watching a movie, robby." "you know i love you??" "Watching a movie, robby." "i've never felt this way about a girl before. you're so nice to me." "Watching A Movie, Robby." "i love you." "I'M TRYING TO WATCH THE GOT DAMNED TEEVEE!!!!"

so. yeah. robby: alive.

i told rodney the story and he said he's probably peddling stuff at the water bill paying place because the price for reanimating his corpse was probably a bitch and he's having to get money anyway he can.

so. yeah. robby: possible reanimated corpse instead.

how is YOUR morning, katie bug??? :)

Friday, June 19, 2009

idiocy and hypocrisy

i'm having to update from work so i'm gonna have to censor my language a bit, just in case:

i'd like to start out by apologizing to my reader(s). i'm sorry because i apparently DO feed trolls and occasionally DO read spam. i received a little troll nugget the other day via yahoo messenger stating something to the effect of i'd like to lick your hips up one side and down the other or something round about in that general vicinity. so, i got piss drunk and stewed over it for a while.

shortly there after, i had one of the most intense "cervical spams" in my life due to a little gem purchased from eros 1207 with the nocturnal magician playing the part of the executer. this is not "actually" relevant to the rest of the story, but i hate for such an extraordinary event to go unmentioned. $14.99 WELL SPENT!!!!!

four days later, my curiosity could stand it no more. i emailed said troll back askin' what was the dealio?? give or take the wording. to sum up the next two days for you: i'm an unforgiving soul less bitch who nothing is good enough for and is also apparently only attracted to men who use and abuse her. but seriously dear reader, when has this even ever been in question?? i am attracted to assholes. or perhaps, better put. um. men in charge?? i like a man to be a man. it just so happens the VAST majority of the time, the men i choose always go to some form of male extreme. the last significant chosen male had an eXtreme over abundance of testosterone which he, unfortunately, could not keep tabs on. as well as a bit of a power ego. no matter how passive aggressive it may have been, it was what it was: definitely a need for power. wow. what an amazing achievement that was. beating ME down. the cats always want to dominate the mice, you know?? the easier the prey, the better?? i guess. meh.

anyhoo. i'm writing this in pieces at work and i feel it's becoming a big fat sweaty mangled story about nothing. it flows better in my head. promise. i'm mean and unforgiving and inconsiderate and apparently nailed jesus christ to the cross with my own bare hands. sounds like something i'd do.

what a heartless bitch i turned out to be.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

"i never feed trolls and i don't read spam""

that will be all.

Saturday, June 06, 2009

you're so vain. you probably think this blog is about you.

a rare good picture of myself. YOU WILL DEAL WITH MY VANITY!!!

i think there's a fairly good possibility that i may have just lost my god damned mind. i consider myself, all in all, a pretty emotionally stagnant human. the kind you're supposed to be at my age. unless of course you have children. then you'd be squealing with delight over the beautiful waste your perfect baby has decided to allow to you to behold. how marvelous a mighty bowel movement this is!! how splendiferous is THIS turd!! you get my point. i *try* to take most things in life with a solemn face. my emotions are my own and none of your business unless i decide to verbally inform you of them. but not until then. i do not laugh. i do not cry. i do not yell or throw tantrems or anything of the like. there are an eXtremely small number of people exempt from this rule. eXtremely, eXtremely small.

i've recently become enamored with a little teevee show i like to call "dead like me". i get the feeling the sci fi channel likes to call it "dead like me" as well. which is kind of an odd coincidence, isn't it?? hmm. it's the story of a girl who gets killed in a freak accident involving a toilet seat and suddenly finds herself as a Grim Reaper. she pops people's souls Just before they die then helps them on to whereever is they're going. i was watching "reaping havoc" tonight and there was a scene in an irish pub where a man is celebrating his birthday with a merry jig atop a bar. he's genuinely joyful and is surrournded by family and friends watching him perform said jig which is unknowingly to be his last. he's skewered by a swordfish, very shortly thereafter. so..........i commenced to crying. A.L.O.T. i cried for the next 15 solid minutes until the show was over. every thing betty said to george made me cry. everything that george said to rube made me cry. when they left the note on the dead sister's door from jesus, i squalled so hard and so much, i think i scared the cats. at the very least, sent them into a hell of a confusion. (why is she leaking so much??)

i finally had to pause it and take a bathroom break before my head exploded. luckily the release of urine relieved a little of the pressure build up.

what the hell is wrong with me??

*whew* now.

back to my show.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

she dyes it black, black, black, black NUMBAH OOOOOONE

have i ever mentioned that i have an older sister who is rather, shall we say "uptight"?? her children are home schooled. their television access is Very limited, as well as the music they're allowed to listen to. my niece is not allowed to pierce her ears, wear make up, tank tops, glittery clothes, along with a Wide variety of other restrictions.


guess who just got hot pink hair. with PERMANENT dye no less. did i say permanent?? because when i said PERMANENT, i meant that they used BLEACH to remove the brown from my little morgan's hair and then put PERMANENT PINK in its place which will NOT wash out. has the apocalypse snuck up on us without me noticing?? hence the "sneakage", i guess. my perception of cautious child rearing has been altered forever.

this is one crazy upside down world.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

you can brush my hair; undress me everywhere.

please watch THIS video. most disturbing video ever?? quite possibly.