Thursday, November 19, 2009

90 day jane

oddly enough, i had forgotten all about my 15 minutes of ill gotten fame about a year and a half ago. i was cleaning out my email tonight and came across MANY, MANY comments on the subject. the majority of them "hate" comments. how i was such a liar and a fraud for deceiving people this way and how because of what the clock on the comment thing posted, well i think it was fairly obvious i was in los angeles and not louisiana!! even though, i've tried repeatedly to fix the clock on here. i'm assuming it eventually fixed itself, because i was never able to do it before on the library's computers. (which is where i was forced to post during that time.) no real post here. no real story. just made me a little reminiscent of those days of eXtreme poverty living in the duplex with my nephew. day in and day out. with no entertainment except my old original nintendo and our few and far between trips to the library to play on the wonderful, glorious interwebz. oh, how that jane mix up made my month. even if i was getting mostly hate mail, it was nice to get mail from strangers. then in my search for the stories surrounding myself and the elusive californian jane, i came across this and was suddenly forced into the realization of how fucking amazingly hot i used to be. no joke. i'd lick me sideways in this picture.........assuming i had the ability. look at the picture. am i not cute as a bug??

only 17 more pounds to go!!!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

stuck with you

this is evey's "sexy kitty" pose. right now, she's in her favorite "kitty won't get the fuck out from in front of the computer screen" pose.

i seem to be in a bit of a pickle, ladies and gentlemen. #1) i can't seem to stay awake after work, which has proven to be most annoying recently. this isn't just the "oh, i can't wait to get off work so i can spank it" sleepy. by 4 pm, i'm utterly exhausted and can't hold my eyes open anymore. then i'm usually awake by somewhere around midnight, can't take a nap before work, and then i'm exhausted by 4 pm the next day. when will this ridiculously inconveniently vicious cycle end???? #2) i'm growing desperate to move. i feel like i'm in an ever sinking hole here, full of loneliness, debt, and debris (seriously, my house is like a land fill) but if i don't clean, who cares?? who do i have to clean for?? the animals?? as long as the ammonia doesn't burn their lungs right out of their chest cavities, i don't think they give a shit. or at least, they can't say so.

so, what's holding me back?? besides my raging fear of change?? the little girl in the picture at the top. my kitty evey. i placed two of my cats at the houston spca. i've did a ton of research before dumping them there. i trust the people. they have the highest adoption rate of any shelter in the country. it was one of the hardest things i've ever voluntarily done and i cried my eyes out for days. i wasn't even all that attached to one of the cats and i knew it was the right thing to do with the other. it still hurt. deeply. so now, i'm stuck with 3 cats. two of which, i just can't bear the thought of parting with. evey appears to be low man on the totem pole in this one. i just can't seem to find her a home. i've been in contact with country ladies rescue in bullard, tx. very, VERY sweet older ladies who run a very small shelter out of pocket. they said they would give me a listing on pet finder, but SURPRISE, my pictures of evey don't work with their computer. what to do, what to do. i can't take her to the pound, obviously. what if she winds up being put down just because she's not young enough or cute enough?? (but seriously look at the picture. is "not cute enough" really one of her problems??) or WORSE!! what if she winds up being sold to a college laboratory for experimentation for throat cancer?!?!?!? it could happen. it does, actually, on a regular basis. in bossier, you ask?? i don't know. but other places. she's 2 years old. she's already spayed. her only real hang up is that she demands her litter box be cleaned. is that really so much to ask?? would YOU want to have to clean sopping wet kitty litter out from in between your toes when there's a perfectly good dry floor right there?? i think not. i keep it up as much as i can, but well, please refer to above discussion about squalor and laziness. she's VERY outgoing. i've even announced i'd be willing to help as much as i could with any financial issue that would come up with her. newp. nothing. i just can't seem to find anyone to take her.

what am i supposed to do??

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

shut up woman, get on my horse!!

it's true!! i accidentally stumbled upon a russian gonzo(?) video the other day of an obese woman in her 40's-50's with greasy thinning hair, few teeth, wearing a red negligee ready to shake hands and blow equally unattractive middle aged man with beer belly, odd facial hair and greased head hair away!!! i promptly shut down my computer and went and prayed by the side of my bed until i felt clean. yes, that means i passed out there.

speaking of porn, i got into a discussion recently with a guy at work about how he thinks there's probably an equally large market out there who would be willing to just "look in" on girls doing every day life things. you know, changing light bulbs, or scrubbing the toilet, or washing dishes, or BATHING THE DOG!! all done in panties and tank top of course. nothing in your face pornographic, just clean voyeurism. got me to thinkin'. now i'm sure it already exists because EVERYthing already does on the internet, but if not, boy howdi. good luck to whoever reading this just stole my idea!! asshole.

speaking of work, i learned today that our biller has been unknowingly involved in outsourcing her own job to the phillipines. we got a new scanner recently to scan our bills into our imaging system, or so we thought. newp. all that's been going to an office in the phillipines so they can learn how to bill our bills. once they get up to par, we'll be letting all of our billers go company wide. great country, isn't it?? america?? whine whine whine bitch bitch bitch about bad economy, failing job markets, blah blah blah, but corporations are steadily pumping as much money straight out our government just as fast as they can write the checks. ugh.

speaking of writing checks, i haven't paid my car note this month. gotta get on that....

Thursday, November 12, 2009

bleh meh and oomph

5 a.m. bored and trying to find new ways to call in sick to work. i feel as though i've lost my drive for nearly everything these days. what little i DO do is motivated by fear of other's people's anger. can't be late for work or my supervisor will be mad. can't call in sick because my relief girl will be mad. can't be uber vegetarian around my boyfriend because he'll leave me. can't curse around my fucking family because they'll disown me. can't wait much longer to move or else he'll be mad BUT can't manage to give away my remaining cat because she'll hate me for life. can't make eye contact with the cashier, BECAUSE WHAT IF SHE'S MAD I'M FORCING HER TO WORK?? i'll spare you the rest of the intended paragraph, but this is my life right now. it always has been to a certain extent, but i seem to have been drained of any sort of desire or drive recently. i woke up at 4 am this morning. so far?? killed some zombies, listened to some youtube, and pooped. at no point in time until just a minute ago did it occur to me to take a bath and get an extra hour of work. the extreme early mornings are always super easy and lord knows i need the money. what's a procrastinatory girl to do???????????????????

i don't even really have the desire to finish this update. fuck bathing. maybe i can find some clean smelling clothes and head on in. where's my pony tail??