Sunday, October 21, 2007

looking at my own reflection when suddenly it changes, violently it changes

brrrr. lordy jeebus its cold in this house this morning.

it took me a while but i finally got over my hangover from last update. i actually got so drunk that night i barely remember that night and wound up having to go home from work the next day very, VERY sick. i havent thrown up that much in a long time. that'll learn me to drink when i'm pissed. well, i'll pretend that'll learn me to drink when i'm pissed. until i get pissed again.

so, what can i vaguely ramble about this morning?? hmm?? so much has happened recently, but is so internet inappropriate, i dont know where to start....or omit. suffice it to say i've been on a personal quest for the past 3 months or so to change myself. for the better or the worse. as long as there's some sort of change. in doing so, i think i like the person i've become even slightly less than the person i hated 3 months ago. a sniveling, whiny, fearful, sex hating, under a rock living, general all around pussy. so, i branch out. flirt more, sleep a little here and there and nothing much has changed. except the sex hating part. i guess the old saying is true. sex is no big deal until you're not getting any. cripes. is that a story all to itself. bleigh.

whatever the case. i'm still fearful and sniveling. i'm rapidly ruining every aspect of my life that i set out to change.

such as:

my love life that was supposed to be free and uninhibited has turned into heartache, pelvic congestion, friend loss, and a damn near complete loss of orgasmic ability. that last part i do not take full credit for, but again, another story all to its self.

my financial life has gone far beyond shit. as it turns out, i cannot manage money at all. my plan?? to move my nephew in with me, get him a job where i work to ease the stress of bills and my lack of ability to sleep at night in the big city. so, a week later, he loses his job due to self induced circumstances and has yet to find another job. so, now(a month later) i'm supporting my already broke ass and buying 3 times as much food and now added to the list: cigarettes. woo hoo!!! my cell phone bill is damn near 600 dollars and has been cut off and i dont know if i'll have lights next month.

eh. i suppose those are the two major areas of my life i decided to work on. my people skills and ability to talk to strangers, too. going out more. havent gotten around to any of that yet. failing before i get started, as usual. you still wanna go to that concert you asked me about??

alright. all this tippity tapping is bugging my latest would be conquest. i gotta go home and take a shower anyway....

Saturday, October 06, 2007

better to have fucked and flossed, than never to have fucked at all

well. here we sit. drunk blobbing again. having one too many screw drivers as usual. losing my ability to read, see, and also to remember. also, i'm rapidly becoming the most annoying person on the face of the earth. let me share with the rest of you who are not here to enjoy this fountain of joy.

um. having said that. nothing is coming to mind.

somebody send me a fucking email. its lonely in the void these days.

you know the drill.

send, mother fuckers. i'm lonely and begging for friendship, you know how this works. get to work...