Monday, January 31, 2005

redneck filosofy

because they're fuckin' fast was exactly the comment i was looking for crazy b. thankya.

alright everybody, i'm about to get political on you here. i know, i know, just sit down and don't throw up. please, we just mopped. i received an email the other day about iraqi torture and well, let me just cut and paste...

'T. Bubba Bechtol, part time City Councilman from Midland, TX, was asked on a local live radio talk show the other day just what he thought of the allegations of torture of the Iraqi prisoners. His reply prompted his ejection from the studio, but to thunderous applause from the audience. "If hooking up an Iraqi prisoner's scrotum to a car's battery cables will save one American GI's life, then I have just two things to say": "Red is positive" "Black is negative" '

now, generally speaking, i am not a political person, AT ALL, but this caught my attention. i was suddenly not little miss popularity around the office (shocker there, huh?) whatever the case, here's my view. i'm well aware that we're at war, correct? okay. when you're in war, you shoot at them; they shoot at us, we're all happy cause we're killin' folks.

Main Entry: 1tor┬Ěture
Pronunciation: 'tor-ch&r
Function: noun
Etymology: French, from Late Latin tortura, from Latin tortus, past participle of torquEre to twist; probably akin to Old High German drAhsil turner, Greek atraktos spindle
1 a : anguish of body or mind : AGONY
b : something that causes agony or pain
2 : the infliction of intense pain (as from burning, crushing, or wounding) to punish, coerce, or afford sadistic pleasure
3 : distortion or overrefinement of a meaning or an argument :

i figure why be vague? alright, now back to my point. they are torturing our prisoners as i understand it. torture (if lost, see above ^) they're seeing exactly how much pain they can possibly put into a human body. we see this is as atrocious, shocking, and wrong. "how can they do that?" "it's cruel and unusual" "barbaric" phrases of this nature generally are associated with people torturing us. but when we do it, it's "well, they're doing it to us, why can't we do it to them?" does the fact that we do it not condone their actions? telling them that it's okay. we're not shocked by the fact of whats happening, it's just that its happening to us. which tells them, well it can't be that bad if they're doing it, too. we're not sending them the message that america is tough ( i at first spelled that tuff, yeah, i'm pickin' on rednecks here) this tells them that america is just as low on the inhumane cruelty bar as they are. we're not showing them we're better because we can fight better, we're showing them we're the same because we can skin a person just as fast as you can, oooh, maybe even faster. wow, arent we a role model. it's like a babysitter with a child (because apparently the U.S. is iraq's babysitter these days, seriously, not sarcastic, we're watching every step they make so they dont fall down or spill their food) whatever the case, the child throws a fit, cries, and pulls the babysitters hair, so the babysitter turns around, cries, kicks their legs and screams then attacks the child. the child then comes to see this as acceptable behavior. yeah, i know, i've bitten children before, too. but you get my analogy, you're supposed to show them who's more mature, not do the exact same thing they do. that teaches nothing, but it's okay. i'm not sure if i got my point across. i just think torture requires creativity and thought. it's wrong. it puts you at their level and they see that and learn from it. "broken record", you say? why, yes. i am. i just wanna make sure you get my point. and if not, sorry for wasting your time.

ahem, anyways, uh, good weekend i suppose. our pups opened their eyes. all blue, shocker again. if anybody wants a rat terrior mix. lemme know... cute little thangies. anywho, i've been on lunch for about an hour or so now, so i should probably go back to work. so, grab your barf bags and head on to your other class...

Thursday, January 27, 2005


i said marsupials scare me...damnit!! sheesh, whats a girl gotta do to get a response around here. oh, yeah, wait... so, fine, dont respond.

Apr 20 - May 20
You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and will work like hell. You are stubborn and bullheaded and will not accept advice from others. Most Taurus's play with themselves.

Ha Ha. Perv.

Jan 20-Feb 18
You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive . You lie a great deal. On the other hand you are inclined to be careless and impractical causing you to make the same mistakes repeatedly. To the casual observer you appear stupid.

wow, that one was harsh. um, happy birthday, michelle??? uhhh, i swear its not my doin's.

hey, who's up for some cranial implosions, eh? eh? eh? yeah, i dont know. class dismissed.


marsupials scare me...

here i work...bored out of my usual...and i think...why do i use these three little periods...over and over...again... in a row...i know there's a name for this type of i...can't...remember...jim...power...........................

what do you focus the majority of your time on?? not just with or doing, but when you're away from this "object of attention" also. what in your life consumes you?? the reason i ask? no legitimate reason. i dont actually expect anyone to answer this, in comment or even in your head really. but since i'm in the habit of humoring myself, there. ive realized recently there are very few, and i mean VERY few things i spend all of my focus and attention on. this is the part where i also come to the realization (yet again) that i need a hobby. am i going to get one? no. but do i intend to bitch about the lack of one?? oh, hell yes. yes, i do.

Feb 19 - Mar 20
You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed. You have a minor influence over your associates and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and class.

somehow, this strikes amazingly close to home. not all the way, but close. too close.

May 21 - June 20
You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. However, you are inclined to expect too much for too little leading people to conclude that you are cheap.

i'm remarkably impressed by this newly found horoscopes. okay, i'll stop now.

so, this shall conclude today's lesson. i have a cherry stuck in my tooth, so i shall now and dig it out...

Monday, January 24, 2005


yep, that's it. thank you, RODNEY. h.r. giger was the guy i was looking for. 'preciate it. so, there, dont ever say again that you're not appreciated.

let's see. monday again. wah-hoo. bored stiff at work, as usual. weekend was great. much much better than expected. got to see a series of unfortunate events. it was definitely a little kid movie. it wasnt quite what i expected, but it was good none-the-less. didnt do a whole lot in particular, i just realized, but all in all, i still had a great weekend.

i had a nasty dream last night. we all know we have puppies, right? if not, we'll get to that in a minute. anywho, in my dream, i found the pups all shrivelled smaller than mice and they felt kinda like beany babies. you know, when you can feel the grainy stuff rolling and crunching against itself inside. as it turned out, the mother had decided to just stop nursing and they were dead and shrivelled, which i somehow managed not to notice while handling them. also, i owned some kind of puppy farm where all the other puppies were getting sick, too. one pup in particular had blood starting to come from his.............rear end? anyway, he started to "go" and out came his intestines. he started choking after that and vomited all of the rest of his internal organ. but it was solid, which in itself was cool, because his little heart was still beating for a few seconds after it was vomited. all of his chest organs were all together in a big mucus membrane sac of some sort. nasty nasty.

and speaking of which, we have pups. 2 males, 2 females, half rat terrier, other half uncertain. born 1-15-05. if you know anyone who "might" be interested thanks.
and as usual, for all you who chose not to help, god forbid, you'll hear about it till they're gone.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, i have a cap on my right bottom back tooth that came off the other day while i was chewing gum. scared the crap out of me. so, i then realized, not only do i have $2000 worth of car that i still havent paid for, i now have a screwed up cap that i'm gonna have to get replaced. which should be around $800, if memory serves. maybe not quite that much. so, yeah, i bit down really hard and put it back in place. its come off every time after that that i've chewed gum, but i figure as long as it doesnt bleed or cause seizures, i can wait.

momentary mental dialogue:
"wow, a guy that i helped get fired a few months ago just came in. i really like that guy. i wonder if he ever knew about my email to the boss. man, i hope not. "

i hear they're coming out with a sim tv show where the viewer gets to vote online as to what the character does next. i'm skeptical but eager to see how this turns out. this is either gonna go huge or flop instantly. i dont see any in between, floating in the middle kinda thing for this show.

nothing else of interest, so CLASS DISMISSED!!

oh, and VIKTOR, if you show up here, leave me a comment and let me know you are alive!!!

Wednesday, January 19, 2005


nothing today class...

except, of course, free puppies, scroll down for info.

free puppies!!!

and since i dont have it in me today, anyone interested in free pups can just scroll down to yesterdays stuff for the description. again, anyone interested in not hearing about the pups anymore can either help or suffer.

let's see. i did eat at the auction last weekend crazy b, and to know my trick, get you a little man who is willing to buy you food.......repeatedly. voila.

also, things have a tendancy to move slowly for me. i have thus far experienced life slowly and so i shall experience my movies slowly. and just for the record, donny darko sucked the hiney. so, there... :P

i have nothing of interest in my life today really, though i don't usually. i really need to start the girly thing. my face is breaking out and i'm constantly on the verge of crying. today i began a horrendous worry-trip about how i have a tendancy to overstay my welcome. it's a problem i have. i know i have it, i just can't get rid of it. i can't seem to make myself leave when i feel it happening. it's weird. a guy i knew one time called me a leech. who knew, turns out he was right. hmmmmmmmm.

i dont know how many of you out there are art freaks of any sort, but there's an artist i'm looking for. i found a book of his a while back and after that i've recognized his stuff in a bunch of places, but can't find his name. he does all black and white stuff that's mechanical parts mixed with body parts, usually it's just a big mechanical thing that somewhat resembles a body part of some sort. i dont know if that makes sense, but if anybody knows what i'm talking about, please share. i'd appreciate it.

well, off to the grocery store. yay!!

class dismissed...

Monday, January 17, 2005

bloated, as usual...

but i guess thats what you get for being uptight.

well, we had puppies the other day. 01-15-05. two boys, two girls. one boy is solid white, one boy is white with very light brown spots, one girl is extremely dark brown with white toes and a white chest patch, and one girl is black and white spotted. they all appear to be very healthy and normal. i mean, none of them have like 5 legs or anything. they're very active and healthy seeming so far. so, if anybody knows anybody who's interested, in six weeks, they're ready.

other than that. not alot's happened recently. i've found out that i have very expensive taste in furniture. we went to an estate auction saturday morning. it was 50 below zero outside, but we went anyway. everything i hated went for cheap and everything i really, really wanted went for several hundred dollars. so, i wound up coming home without spending a dime. yippee kiyay! which reminds me, it was when we got home from the auction that i found the puppies. on the couch. yeah, that was fun to scrub blood out of. apparently she'd just had them, 'cause the blood came out a whole lot easier than i expected it to. no point to that story, so moving on.

got some movies this weekend. i got to see troy. it was an okay movie for what it was, but i was expecting colin ferril, and oh, was i pissed and disappointed. oh, well. i guess i'll have to see alexander now. amelie. not sure how to spell that. it's a french movie about a girl who decides to start doing good deeds for people. amazingly good movie. i was very impressed. i'd highly recommend it. umm, the stepford wives, also a pretty good movie. i'm still not sure if they were just women with nano chips or actual robots. they put that together poorly. and little black book. great movie, but i got a little too into it. good movie though. chick flick, but a good one.

and basically sunday i got thrown into a stack of toilet paper in brookshires.

i do believe i burned my popcorn. tastes kinda what little puppy breath smells like.

anyways, that'll do for today. think seriously about the pups kids, they're very cute and need a home. and if we dont get rid of them, i'm gonna keep posting about them until we do.

class dismissed

Friday, January 14, 2005

anal penetration

well, i finally heard back on my car. yay! my $800 or $900 quote plus the radiator that i burned a hole in which would be about $300 or so has now turned into 1938 fuckin' dollars! hooray and hoorah for the ass rapage! yeah, it hurt, and i almost cried. i was deciding between crying and throwing up. but i figure i've got some weird record now for me on the not throwing up thing, so i'm gonna try to stick with it. 1938. how do you go from approx. 1100 to 1938.00?? how does that work? where did the other $700 go??

other than that, i just cut my arm seconds ago. shit. ahem, now other than that, i woke up in a bad mood. had nightmares all night about red-headed whores. ::shiver:: and when i wasnt dreaming about the devil, i dreamt about demons who vomited a white spermy substance onto passersby in the woods. twas nasty. their bodies were shriveled to the bone all gray and blue and their teeth dangled down and were finger sized. again, no real story here, just woke up pissy.

umm, let's see. oh, hey, lookie there, a bright side. if anyone's interested (or knows anyone who's interested) we're having puppies soon. dont know how many or what gender, but i'm pretty sure we're having some. they're gonna be mixed breeds. the mother is at least half feist and what i believe to be the father was a rat terrior. so, they'll be very small, and eXtremely hyper. so, spread the word around. my pup looks like she's about to burst, so i'm sure it won't be long. also, anyone who is seriously interested in a guinea pig, i have one of those too. and by serious, i mean, if i want him to be neglected, i can keep it myself. but my working schedule is all weird and i mostly sleep when i'm not at work and he's not really being properly cared for. i got him for free, he was mistreated where he came from, so he's very skiddish and not the friendliest. not mean, just jumpy. so, yeah, pass the word around on that, too. he's orange and dark brown. his name is basil. (bazz' il) he's british. dont ask why. just because i say so.

well, kids. that's all for now. class dismissed.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

napoleon dynamite

how-D everybody? good, glad to hear it............i guess.

i got to see napoleon dynamite this weekend. oh, my gosh. i will probably end up owning this movie. it was definitely an mtv production. very cool, i highly recommend long as you're open minded. there's no background music at all and alot of silent parts. vury vury amrusing to myself though. saw two other movies, but they weren't worth mentioning. so, moving right along.

worked out in the yard all day sunday. by all day, i mean 5 or 6 hours. which managed somehow to be enough to make me still sore. owie. my arms still hurt. after that, got to play scattergories which i havent played in a very long time. i had a lesson in being a very good loser about things and had an old fashioned good time. so, yeah, saturday blew dick, but sunday made up for it. so, all in all it turned out to be a pretty good weekend. i'd like to think anyways.

i had a dream night before last that my whole family was over at my fella's house and two of my little 2 year old nephews ran out into the road. i was gonna go after them, but i couldn't run so i had to borrow someone's car. it took me too long, so my 4 year old neice went after them herself. she got hit by a car and killed, which the family in turn, blamed on me. bad dream. bad bad dream. i woke up crying. this has no relevance to anything, but there ya go...

this year for my birthday, i want mcdonalds. not like a big mac, i want to own one, any in bossier or shreveport will do. i'd be happy with that. hell, i'd even settle for a taco bell. so, yeah, presents to think about people. presents to think about.

i still don't have my car back. course i should probably call the guy, this might speed up the process. my 'about a week' has turned into a little over two. i miss my car oh so badly. i hate driving my mom's car. can't use the air or heat and the drivers window won't roll down. grr.

oh, i just sneezed and it sounded like a mosquito poot. wow,that tickled. mmm.

well, that's about all there is to that. rather disappointing update, i k-no. eh, tune in next time. might get better, might get worse. you never know. we'll see what we can work out...

Thursday, January 06, 2005

Soppy ketchup bread

as it turns out, that doesn't taste near as good as you might think. ickity.

well, hangin' out at the hizzouse. just me and my peeps. and by my peeps, i mean me. so, here i sit, alone as usual. ::sigh:: things could always be worse, though. just imagine if you couldn't read my wonderful page. just think of how cold and empty your life would feel then, hm?

let's see. what's new? not alot here. i farted in front of my boyfriend for the first time that i can remember last night. now, "what the hell possessed you to tell us that, jane?" you might ask. and being the uptight, stuck up little bitch that i usually am, i'd be inclined to ask this question with you. so, let me answer. it was the weirdest, most inappropriately placed one i've ever witnessed. no more really needs to be said about it. i just found it strange, inappropriate and mildly amusing.

moving on...

to be honest, that's probably the most interesting thing that's happened recently. sad, i know. hm, i found out tonight that our terminal manager is leaving. like the big boss at my job. this actually saddened me a little. as much as i'm scared of the man, he praises me all the time and likes me sooooooooo much better than the woman i replaced. so, kinda no matter what i did, i pretty much had job security. i just hope our next guy isn't too bad. kinda skeert i am.

well, i think this will suffice for tonight. enjoy...

Wednesday, January 05, 2005


language/cultural origin: English
inherent meaning: God is gracious
spiritual connotation: Beloved
scripture: romans 12:2 nkjv
and do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

are any of you familiar with uncle john and his bathroom reader series??

"there was a young man from Darjeeling,
who got on a bus bound for Ealing;
it said on the door:
'don't spit on the floor',
so he carefully spat on the ceiling."

here are a few of the more unusual ways people around the world spend their leisure time: or at least one of the ways:

watching cows fight
most countries that use cattle in sport prefer bullfights-but not the swiss. they stage cow fights, pitting pregnant female cows against one another-in spite of the fact that the cows have no natural desire to fight one another...and can't even be prodded into fighting.
actually, most of the time cows just moo, kick the earth, or push against one another as they engage in "shoving matches" to see who will lead the herd. but that doesn't stop the enthusiastic swiss from putting on their annual cow fight each october in the tiny town of martigny.

there's more to that article, but that's just the interesting me...

sarcasm: from the greek word sarkazein, which means "to tear the flesh"

only 2% of americans say they're in a good mood every day.

movie star, errol flynn once worked on an australian sheep ranch, castrating sheep with his teeth.

it takes seven standard shuffles to thoroughly mix a 52-card deck.

james dean had several gay roommates while living in hollywood. when asked whether he was bisexual, he reportedly responded, "well, i'm certainly not going through life with one had tied behind my back!" he also avoided the military draft by registering as a homosexual.

"death is jst nature's way of telling you, "hey, you're not alive anymore."
----bull, night court

arachibutyrophobia: the fear of having peanut butter stuck to the roof of your mouth

hotel industry study: 70% of people who lock themselves out of their rooms are women, there darby, enjoy that...

and that's enough of uncle john. i was gonna put some shel silverstein stuff on here, but i dont have the right book here handy. oh, well, maybe next time.

well, everybody, it's been a pleasure having your eyes pass delicately over me, or well, my site anyway, 1 or 2 eyes were a little rough, though. yeah, i felt that. you know who you are. i'm off to bed, finally. i gotta get up for work in about 4 hours. yay.

who knew? not one negative thing. can you imagine?? nah, i'm saving all that for next time.


oh, for the love of PETE!!

i dont know why i love pete, i guess it's just meant to be.

well, for the sake of updating, here's your update.

now then, be happy.

Sunday, January 02, 2005


updidiitydate time. wah-hoo. well, here we are at the end of the weekend. finally. it's weird, but i'm almost looking forward to going back to work tomorrow. almost. its been nice all this vacation stuff here lately, but it'll be nice to be making money again for a change. this thanksgiving, christmas, and new years stuff isnt doing much for my checkbook, since i'm not full-time and what not.

i feel alot better today. i got to sleep off whatever it was that was so screwed up with me last night. not all of it of course, but i got to do a bit of a personal delve today. had some time to think freely. played kickball with the kids, worked out for a change with my sister, hung out with a friend and got all her old clothes. i feel like christmas came to me all over again. i've got like 742 pair of jeans now. or at least 10 to 15, which is more than i've ever had in my life. (thanks, chelle!!) i just feel alot better today in general. i did several things that i wouldnt normally have done. my legs hurt like hell though after trudging up the mountain side on that exercise bike. damn. nope, nothing at all to do with the story, but my butt hurts from that stupid seat.

i got to watch anacondas today. oh, my gosh, was that movie a waste of time. now, you might say, "maybe if you didn't talk through the whole movie, you might have enjoyed it more." but then, you'd be wrong. i'm no snake expert, but that movie was sooooo unbelieveable unrealistic. but hey, what would a movie be without special blowing up effects and zinging catchphrases. apparently large snakes are explosive underwater, completely saturated with WATER. who knew?? and more importantly, who cared??

moving on...

i found an old diary of mine today. the first date in there was december 18, 1992. strange. i was 9 years old and certainly no poet at my young little age. very vague also. it was weird reading things before my wonderful life changing experience that all young children should go through, the sudden death of your best friend. it was weird how my speech changed after that. i noticed i developed a weird sense of sarcasm in the pages immediately following. nothing big, just everything before that was so matter of fact, and after that it was more inner dialogue of my mind talking and making jokes to itself. i started questioning more things after that. it went from "my class went to the circus today" to "i'm 10 years old and still afraid of the dark, but is that wrong?? i didnt think so." yeah, i dont know where all that came from, i just found that to be a strange read. i dont know...

moving on again...

well, i'm tired, cold, and full, so i reckon i'm gonna go ahead and go to bed. gotta be on time for work tomorrow. AND i have to dress 'professional', God forbid. the owner of the company is coming to town, so this should be exciting. yippee.

good night, everybody.

happy new year?

update time!! hooray and hoorah and a big whoopity shit!!

well, whats to be said about the new year? it's been here a day and i already i have too much on my mind to process. now, granted, thats not hard to do, but still. how did you spend your new year?? i spent mine in a bar. i had a screwdriver in my hand, up in the air, sitting on a barstool when they did the countdown and shouted happy new year. after that, i put my drink back down, spun around to evan and said wow, that was disappointing. babes, thats not a stab at you. just for clarification. anyways. spent the night in a hotel, had yesterday, and now here we are at 5:05 in the morning pondering life. why?? to what avail?? is this spelled correctly?? i'm almost positive it's not. but it's okay. i am soooooooo fuckin' tired. my eyelids are on fire. this has no relavance, except that this update might not be understandable to folks other than myself. and i just remembered i bought a loaf of white bread and left it at my fellas house. DAMNIT!!! my parents only buy wheat bread, ickity. i was thinking about a few updates back, the one where i was talking about what you want out of life, what you really want. then i got to thinking about the little things people want out of life. you really wish some individual person in your life wouldnt smack so loud when they ate. you really wish some individual person in your life wouldnt bring up something bad about the person you're dating, all your 3 friends, and your lifestyle and be happy for you about something every now and then. you really wish that some individual person could find a small thing they liked about themselves and build off it. you really wish some individual not necessarily directly in your life would have some major accident that would require serious medical attention that would make you have a guilty conscience about all the hatred and resentment you have built up towards them. i live for my guilty conscience and yeah, that one's just not there. you really wish some individual person in your life would go out on an awkward limb for you from time to time just to show they're not afraid to try something just for YOUR sake and not their own. you really wish some individual person in your life would stand back and appreciate what they have in a spouse and show the spouse they appreciate it. i love my father to death, but he's been a horrible role model on how a man should treat a woman. you wish that some individual in your life would get off her fat, lazy, whorish ass and get a job, stop being a drain on her parents and society and realize that even though she is a fat, lazy, whore she has alot more qualities than she realizes. that she might possibly have a very pretty smile and a great laugh and though she doesnt have the highest iq in the world, she's got people skills that i can only envy. well, sometimes. there's a possibility that there's more to that, but we're not going there. you wish some individual in your life would be able to find a person who could treat them decently and learn that they are not fat nor ugly, and can get far better people than jeffy-poo. (haha, i mentioned you!!!) i have no idea where all that was going. i'm in a horrible mood and have spent the last four hours spilling emotions that no one was catching, so now they're just kinda spewing everywhere. :::squirt::: and again, i am soooooo fuckin' tired. am i turning into the psycho girl who no one wants to talk to because all she ever does it make things harder and whine because oh poor me, my life is so hard?? spilling psychobabble about "feelings" and your "inner child"?? i havent got quite that far yet thought, folks. rodney, i read that thing on your site a while back, that write up about you are only a collection of memories and stories that you tell yourself, and that you can change the present and yourself at any given moment for the better or for the worse. yeah, re reading that, it doesnt sound right, i just wanted to let you know i enjoyed it. :::::::::::::i just erased a whole bunch of shit, because i just realized that i am way to sleepy to be typing. so, anywho, i hope yall enjoyed this bit of garbled, pissy, depression. same as every other day, i know. one day, i'm gonna surprise you though. oh, yeah, one day. yep. you betcha.


and i realize this is totally inappropriate, but i think, if i'm not mistaken that today would have been mariah's 22nd birthday. hm. i guess i really should stop bitching. at least i do have my health. hm.