Sunday, January 02, 2005

happy new year?

update time!! hooray and hoorah and a big whoopity shit!!

well, whats to be said about the new year? it's been here a day and i already i have too much on my mind to process. now, granted, thats not hard to do, but still. how did you spend your new year?? i spent mine in a bar. i had a screwdriver in my hand, up in the air, sitting on a barstool when they did the countdown and shouted happy new year. after that, i put my drink back down, spun around to evan and said wow, that was disappointing. babes, thats not a stab at you. just for clarification. anyways. spent the night in a hotel, had yesterday, and now here we are at 5:05 in the morning pondering life. why?? to what avail?? is this spelled correctly?? i'm almost positive it's not. but it's okay. i am soooooooo fuckin' tired. my eyelids are on fire. this has no relavance, except that this update might not be understandable to folks other than myself. and i just remembered i bought a loaf of white bread and left it at my fellas house. DAMNIT!!! my parents only buy wheat bread, ickity. i was thinking about a few updates back, the one where i was talking about what you want out of life, what you really want. then i got to thinking about the little things people want out of life. you really wish some individual person in your life wouldnt smack so loud when they ate. you really wish some individual person in your life wouldnt bring up something bad about the person you're dating, all your 3 friends, and your lifestyle and be happy for you about something every now and then. you really wish that some individual person could find a small thing they liked about themselves and build off it. you really wish some individual not necessarily directly in your life would have some major accident that would require serious medical attention that would make you have a guilty conscience about all the hatred and resentment you have built up towards them. i live for my guilty conscience and yeah, that one's just not there. you really wish some individual person in your life would go out on an awkward limb for you from time to time just to show they're not afraid to try something just for YOUR sake and not their own. you really wish some individual person in your life would stand back and appreciate what they have in a spouse and show the spouse they appreciate it. i love my father to death, but he's been a horrible role model on how a man should treat a woman. you wish that some individual in your life would get off her fat, lazy, whorish ass and get a job, stop being a drain on her parents and society and realize that even though she is a fat, lazy, whore she has alot more qualities than she realizes. that she might possibly have a very pretty smile and a great laugh and though she doesnt have the highest iq in the world, she's got people skills that i can only envy. well, sometimes. there's a possibility that there's more to that, but we're not going there. you wish some individual in your life would be able to find a person who could treat them decently and learn that they are not fat nor ugly, and can get far better people than jeffy-poo. (haha, i mentioned you!!!) i have no idea where all that was going. i'm in a horrible mood and have spent the last four hours spilling emotions that no one was catching, so now they're just kinda spewing everywhere. :::squirt::: and again, i am soooooo fuckin' tired. am i turning into the psycho girl who no one wants to talk to because all she ever does it make things harder and whine because oh poor me, my life is so hard?? spilling psychobabble about "feelings" and your "inner child"?? i havent got quite that far yet thought, folks. rodney, i read that thing on your site a while back, that write up about you are only a collection of memories and stories that you tell yourself, and that you can change the present and yourself at any given moment for the better or for the worse. yeah, re reading that, it doesnt sound right, i just wanted to let you know i enjoyed it. :::::::::::::i just erased a whole bunch of shit, because i just realized that i am way to sleepy to be typing. so, anywho, i hope yall enjoyed this bit of garbled, pissy, depression. same as every other day, i know. one day, i'm gonna surprise you though. oh, yeah, one day. yep. you betcha.


and i realize this is totally inappropriate, but i think, if i'm not mistaken that today would have been mariah's 22nd birthday. hm. i guess i really should stop bitching. at least i do have my health. hm.


Blogger El Mucho Roddo said...

Hrmph. Well, I was going to leave a comment, but then I realized that any *honest* comment I left would be misconstrued.

So, I'll just say Happy Fuckin' New Year to ya and leave you with an old Irish saying:

May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face.
And rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of His hand.

That was not an offer for m4d s3x0r. It was just an innocent comment. I swear.

Sunday, January 02, 2005 11:35:00 AM  
Blogger El Mucho Roddo said...

And, you should call me.

Sunday, January 02, 2005 11:37:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey chicka! It's Chelle... woohoo! I just wanted to let you know that I really enjoyed reading all this. You were very much in a pissy mood but i understand completely why. Just to let you know, you are not turning into a psycho girl who no one wants to talk too... i love you greatly and love to talk to you! So see... lol! Me and you pretty much see things the sameway which surprises the shit out of me because i have never found anyone like me. So thank you for being you... and thank you also for what you said about me being able to find someone better than Jeffrey... I know i can it's just hard to believe it. Well i just wanted to leave you a comment. Woohoo! *Hugs* C-H-E-L-L-E (The one and only!)

Wednesday, January 05, 2005 7:58:00 PM  

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