stuck with you

this is evey's "sexy kitty" pose. right now, she's in her favorite "kitty won't get the fuck out from in front of the computer screen" pose.

i seem to be in a bit of a pickle, ladies and gentlemen. #1) i can't seem to stay awake after work, which has proven to be most annoying recently. this isn't just the "oh, i can't wait to get off work so i can spank it" sleepy. by 4 pm, i'm utterly exhausted and can't hold my eyes open anymore. then i'm usually awake by somewhere around midnight, can't take a nap before work, and then i'm exhausted by 4 pm the next day. when will this ridiculously inconveniently vicious cycle end???? #2) i'm growing desperate to move. i feel like i'm in an ever sinking hole here, full of loneliness, debt, and debris (seriously, my house is like a land fill) but if i don't clean, who cares?? who do i have to clean for?? the animals?? as long as the ammonia doesn't burn their lungs right out of their chest cavities, i don't think they give a shit. or at least, they can't say so.

so, what's holding me back?? besides my raging fear of change?? the little girl in the picture at the top. my kitty evey. i placed two of my cats at the houston spca. i've did a ton of research before dumping them there. i trust the people. they have the highest adoption rate of any shelter in the country. it was one of the hardest things i've ever voluntarily done and i cried my eyes out for days. i wasn't even all that attached to one of the cats and i knew it was the right thing to do with the other. it still hurt. deeply. so now, i'm stuck with 3 cats. two of which, i just can't bear the thought of parting with. evey appears to be low man on the totem pole in this one. i just can't seem to find her a home. i've been in contact with country ladies rescue in bullard, tx. very, VERY sweet older ladies who run a very small shelter out of pocket. they said they would give me a listing on pet finder, but SURPRISE, my pictures of evey don't work with their computer. what to do, what to do. i can't take her to the pound, obviously. what if she winds up being put down just because she's not young enough or cute enough?? (but seriously look at the picture. is "not cute enough" really one of her problems??) or WORSE!! what if she winds up being sold to a college laboratory for experimentation for throat cancer?!?!?!? it could happen. it does, actually, on a regular basis. in bossier, you ask?? i don't know. but other places. she's 2 years old. she's already spayed. her only real hang up is that she demands her litter box be cleaned. is that really so much to ask?? would YOU want to have to clean sopping wet kitty litter out from in between your toes when there's a perfectly good dry floor right there?? i think not. i keep it up as much as i can, but well, please refer to above discussion about squalor and laziness. she's VERY outgoing. i've even announced i'd be willing to help as much as i could with any financial issue that would come up with her. newp. nothing. i just can't seem to find anyone to take her.

what am i supposed to do??