pushin' up daisies

jables's impression of a dead raccoon. pretty good, eh??

halloween is approaching a little quicker than expected. i've been talking about it all year like normal, but somehow it still managed to sneak up on me. i still have no costume or plans for this weekend. i originally wanted to go to on vacation this week and maybe go to salem, massachusetts or something, but due to conflicting work schedules, that didn't happen. i've been on this super nifty diet for a couple months now. i've lost ten pounds and holding, but still none of my clothes fit right. it's like i was losing, losing, losing, then bam!! nothing. just stopped. i'd like to sit here and sound all confused and surprised, but i went from a mainly vegetable extremely high fiber diet to well, i just ate 6 oreos and i've been living off of chips and salsa and bagels for the past week. my point is: i am not where i was supposed to be by halloween this year. all that great dieting and stuff was supposed to be put me at like 125 pounds and i was gonna look so adorable in that costume and blah blah blah. as always, my laziness has fucked it up. hooray for procrastination!!

i fail.

'cause these hands are just too shaky to hold

he--he---hello?? oral herpes?? HEY!! there you are!! with all those anxiety attacks i've been having recently, i was wondering when you'd be coming back.

i missed you. :)

(it's that little happy white spot slightly to the right.)

looks like i'll be sleeping with the colgate man tonight.

please accept my apology

that's me on the far left there. go ahead. believe it..........................okay fine. don't believe it and kiss my ass. how about that??

i've recently really gotten into TWITTER: the lazy man's blog. instead of posting a whole thought process here, it's much, much easier to just sum it up in under 140 characters there and you probably get the same amount of information out of it. not tonight, though, sonny. oh, no. not tonight. tonight you shall feel the wrath of my tippity typings. i am drinking and feel pretty chatty. yourself?? HAH!! i can't read what you write, sillies. this is MY site.

i don't have time to go over everything you have missed in this past month, but here's a taste:
i finally took Cinco and Hex to the Houston SPCA. it was harder than i ever imagined it could be. turns out they're already available for adoption. click on their names to see them. hold on while i go get some kleenexes. happy to see they're already up for adoption. we went in the admissions department for the first time and signed them over, but didn't have the money to cover the admission fee. we came back about a half an hour later after locating an ATM and they were still on the counter surely thinking "oh, hey!! there you are!! you forgot me. don't worry, i'm still waiting!!" so, i gave the remainder of the admission fee and walked back out and cried my eyes out for the next hour, then again later that night when i went to bed, and again the next night on the way to the magic show/seance, and again on the way back to louisiana, and when i found their pictures on their website just a minute ago, and a little bit right now. it's not that i think it wasn't the right thing to do, because it was. i could not sufficiently take care of 5 cats on my own, my house is ridiculously unsanitary. ammonia burns my nose with every deep breath. i can't clean that much. and assuming i ever get off my lazy ass and move myself to houston, i obviously can't have 5 cats in an apartment. what really hurt was the knowledge that instead of going to sleep wrapped around my feet with her best friend, Feather, Hex would be going to sleep alone in a cage in a room full of other crying lonely cats and she would not understand why. she would be there, alone, afraid, and confused. i don't understand how people go through pet after pet and if they don't really like it, they just bring it to the pound and get another. i've never had a shittier feeling. well, that's probably not true, but i sure felt guilty.

i'm sorry, Hex. i'm Really sorry.

paradox

pictures compliments of jane's phone and the ouachita parish animal shelter. looking for my crippled sister a hypoallergenic dog. she's obviously rather have a freebie, but ya know.

i'm a million different people from one end to the next; i can't change

i had planned to write a depressing blog about how everybody hates me and i'm a loser and i'm miserable and blah blah blah, but i'm too tightly wrapped up in my own little world of misery to allow you inside or articulate the details. so, instead!!

i've developed an obsession with food lately. all i do online anymore is look up new healthy recipes. #1) i'm overweight. i have been for nearly 2 years now and i can seem to make it just go away. #2) i'm unhealthy. by the time my parents got around to me, the ninth child, i feel like they were just worn out. and i'm far, FAR too manipulative to actually have to eat what my mother gave me. i always wound up with what i wanted regardless of what the rest of them had for dinner. oh, it may take a couple hours, but perseverance wins the race. #3) i'm trying to impress a boy. i think that says enough for itself. who ultimately wants a woman who can't cook?? or sew on a button?? i haven't gotten quite that far yet. god damned buttons. all men should just wear zippers. #4) i'm growing up. i'm 26 now. it's about time i started acting like it, right?? i can't hit 30 and still be eating beanie weinies and macaroni and cheese. when does the growing up period actually start?? because, as mentioned in the previous post, i'm having a hard time finding it. #5) i'm obsessive compulsive. i MUST have something to obsess over. this is at least something healthy and moderately constructive to obsess over. better this than whose mad at me, what bills i will not be able to pay in decemeber, and what reaction i'm going to have when my boyfriend finally spills that he's been cheating on me and has hated me the whole time and has been working for a way to permanently embarrass me over the internet. now, i *STILL* obsess about all these things, but i'm trying to let my focus reside over the food.

in my quest for healthier food, among other moral tenderhearted reasons, i've become very interested in vegetarianism. i don't know if i'll ever make that final leap to veganism, but we'll leave that goal further down the road for now. i can only worry about so many things at once. i've looked up TONS of information on healthy eating, nutrition sources, dangers of different foods. on this quest, i obviously stumbled upon many, MANY vegetarian sites warning of the dangers of eating meat. not to say that i don't eat meat, because quite obviously i do. i don't wanna come off as *too* big of a hypocrite here. i've got non organic chicken breasts in my freezer right now which i have every intention in the world of eating. pizza hut's spicy asian chicken wings might just be my favorite food on earth. literally. i've even got hot dogs in my fridge. though i'm actually almost afraid to eat them now that i know more about them. the things i've learned about hot dogs. hoo. so, yeah. as it turns out, like 90 something percent of the cholesterol you take in is from animal products. joo know that?? i really didn't. i thought it was in all food.

ehh. i was recently distracted by a greeter at my door. come to bring me a diabetic cook book i just ordered as a matter of fact. lost my train of writing thought. um. um. um. the picture above is actually from a land o'lakes dairy farm. it's a sick cow they prodded back up to get her back into the milking line. i've actually found MANY of pictures very similar to this taken from land o'lakes dairy farms. guess who's not buying land o'lakes anymore?? i realize that meat and animal products have been a part of human civilization since it's beginning, but i'm starting to think that maybe what we've grow accustomed to here in our modern society is a much lower grade of meat and other byproducts. a large portion derived from animals that are sick or ailing. if you went to someone's farm and asked for a leg of beef, you wouldn't first walk up to the skinny, balding, snotting cow and say "ooh, i'd like that one." but these aren't discarded in the meat line at the slaughter houses. this scares me. i don't like the idea of eating meat that would've died very shortly thereafter had it not been put out of it's misery. that just doesn't happen in nature. well, except of course for the scavengers like buzzard, hyenas, and the like. hopefully, you're getting my point. it's not that i think that everyone who eats meat is gonna die and go to hell or anything like that. it's just that the more knowledgeable i get, the more natural meat i'd rather eat, if i eat any at all. hopefully, i'll be able to get my hands on some deer meat now that it's almost hunting season. 100% organic there. free grazer it's entire life and has been allowed to roam and live freely until the end. seems more, i dunno, poetic that way?? noble?? fair?? don't condemn me just yet as one of "those" people. ehh, i'm getting there. i haven't made it there yet, but i'm working on it. :)