Sunday, October 21, 2007

looking at my own reflection when suddenly it changes, violently it changes

brrrr. lordy jeebus its cold in this house this morning.

it took me a while but i finally got over my hangover from last update. i actually got so drunk that night i barely remember that night and wound up having to go home from work the next day very, VERY sick. i havent thrown up that much in a long time. that'll learn me to drink when i'm pissed. well, i'll pretend that'll learn me to drink when i'm pissed. until i get pissed again.

so, what can i vaguely ramble about this morning?? hmm?? so much has happened recently, but is so internet inappropriate, i dont know where to start....or omit. suffice it to say i've been on a personal quest for the past 3 months or so to change myself. for the better or the worse. as long as there's some sort of change. in doing so, i think i like the person i've become even slightly less than the person i hated 3 months ago. a sniveling, whiny, fearful, sex hating, under a rock living, general all around pussy. so, i branch out. flirt more, sleep a little here and there and nothing much has changed. except the sex hating part. i guess the old saying is true. sex is no big deal until you're not getting any. cripes. is that a story all to itself. bleigh.

whatever the case. i'm still fearful and sniveling. i'm rapidly ruining every aspect of my life that i set out to change.

such as:

my love life that was supposed to be free and uninhibited has turned into heartache, pelvic congestion, friend loss, and a damn near complete loss of orgasmic ability. that last part i do not take full credit for, but again, another story all to its self.

my financial life has gone far beyond shit. as it turns out, i cannot manage money at all. my plan?? to move my nephew in with me, get him a job where i work to ease the stress of bills and my lack of ability to sleep at night in the big city. so, a week later, he loses his job due to self induced circumstances and has yet to find another job. so, now(a month later) i'm supporting my already broke ass and buying 3 times as much food and now added to the list: cigarettes. woo hoo!!! my cell phone bill is damn near 600 dollars and has been cut off and i dont know if i'll have lights next month.

eh. i suppose those are the two major areas of my life i decided to work on. my people skills and ability to talk to strangers, too. going out more. havent gotten around to any of that yet. failing before i get started, as usual. you still wanna go to that concert you asked me about??

alright. all this tippity tapping is bugging my latest would be conquest. i gotta go home and take a shower anyway....


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You should treat yourself better.


Did this concert have a name?

Wednesday, October 24, 2007 10:57:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

haha i don't know why i read this. i was looking up lyrics for "down with the sickness" by Disturbed, and this came up. well, bye.

Thursday, February 05, 2009 8:44:00 PM  

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