he may not be real experienced with girls, but i know he feels like a boy should feel. isnt that the point??

apparently not.

i finally gained temporary access to the internet again. WHOO HOO!! this is driving me mad. i've come to accept the fact that i've moved out of the house that granted me sporadic internet access before. you know, 'cause at least i still had work. BUT, now they've cut that off, too. they've got all but like 4 websites blocked. will i never have internet of my own again????? nevah evah???? i did, however, FINALLY get around to getting my computer last week, so i guess really i'm half way there. we'll see. maybe i'll have it by christmas.

my nephew moved in with me this weekend. now. here's how this was "supposed" to work: he was supposed to come NEXT weekend and give me another week to arrange my shit so he could arrange his and get all of my manic masturbation out and all that jazz. and once he did come, he's supposed to start on break bulk shift (or night shift...for the layman) therefore never having to see each other. instead, he got laid off a week early and is being started at 6 o'clock in the morning bright and early monday, same as me. now, lord knows i can appreciate the fact that my bills are gonna still be cut in half. but i'm basically gonna be with him 24 mother friggin hours a day. 24. that means all of them. there hasnt really seemed to be a problem so far. but well. as you all know, i live in a two room duplex. one kitchen, one main room. that's it. sharing the same room and job 24/7. i'm assuming you can see the problems that can arise here. please. no one be surprised if my bowels pop here within the next 2-3 weeks.

speaking of which.........nephew, not bowels. i gotta jump offa here and head home to get him and to grandmothers house we go so everyone can pinch his cheeks and see how much he's grown since last time and we can get some good old fashioned free food.

all hail jane. queen of bitchery and condesention

i cant find the song lyrics i was looking for so i guess i'll just have to do things the old fashioned way and actually write something myself. :: sigh :: this requires so much more energy this way. alot of stuff been going on in the void lately. since someone is going to periodically check over my shoulder i cant really just rant the way i would if i were alone, but we'll see what we can do.

i've recently become semi-bulimic again due to the fact that i've recently become single again. for the first time.....the first "real" time in four years. i've been single occasionally here and there, but we always managed to work it out. and by work it out, i mean, i would suck it up and deal with it like the good little doormat than i am. and i am a VERY good little doormat. dont you forget that.

urm, i'd forgotten how ugly breakups can go. its been so long since i've had one. even when one person is trying to be friendly and civil. but friendly and civil in one person's eyes can be cold hearted and distant in another's. meh. i guess that's just one of the smaller price's you'll pay for freedom. sweet beautiful freedom. still to come is the slander, the theft, and almost guaranteed: the blackmail. ah. good old reliable bbd predictability. but why should i be any different than the rest?? after all, i'm just another dirty cold hearted bitch out to getcha. shoppers beware.

interesting perspectives my ass. blah. fuck you and your incomprehensible blindness.

other than that, i've been working days for about 2-3 months now. LOVE IT. its so weird getting off when the rest of the world does. i've been either on 3rd or godforbid 2nd shift for damn near 5 years now. jeepers, thats a long time. nearly a fifth of my life ago. anywho. so, yeah, workin' days now. thought that would make me grow up a little if nothing else, in my appearance, because working days around management and the occasional customer, you need to look presentable. apparently, that's not gonna happen till somebody makes me. namely mark. cause as long as nobody else cares, quite frankly, me neitha. i'll just continue dressing like an kinder gardener. suits me fine.

one much appreciated little side effect has been my social skills in dealing with the general public. i'm far less likely to cry after taking a cussing. since i get one at least 3-4 times a week nowadays. cashiers seem to respond to me a little better since i've learned it's appropriate to speak back when they ask "how are you doing today??" this may be a disinterested question, but it is, in fact, not a rhetorical one. who knew??

my ass hurts. right NOW because i'm curled up on the floor in a weird position making the top half of my buttocks go numb. but ALSO because i was sent flying last night across the back of a car(with a route 44 lemonlimeberry slush) and ass first into a seat belt. damn that seat belt. my left ass cheek makes it look like i've been chased by snipers or something. driving like a retarded drunkass.

alright. i think somebody wants their computer back.