Saturday, September 08, 2007

all hail jane. queen of bitchery and condesention

i cant find the song lyrics i was looking for so i guess i'll just have to do things the old fashioned way and actually write something myself. :: sigh :: this requires so much more energy this way. alot of stuff been going on in the void lately. since someone is going to periodically check over my shoulder i cant really just rant the way i would if i were alone, but we'll see what we can do.

i've recently become semi-bulimic again due to the fact that i've recently become single again. for the first time.....the first "real" time in four years. i've been single occasionally here and there, but we always managed to work it out. and by work it out, i mean, i would suck it up and deal with it like the good little doormat than i am. and i am a VERY good little doormat. dont you forget that.

urm, i'd forgotten how ugly breakups can go. its been so long since i've had one. even when one person is trying to be friendly and civil. but friendly and civil in one person's eyes can be cold hearted and distant in another's. meh. i guess that's just one of the smaller price's you'll pay for freedom. sweet beautiful freedom. still to come is the slander, the theft, and almost guaranteed: the blackmail. ah. good old reliable bbd predictability. but why should i be any different than the rest?? after all, i'm just another dirty cold hearted bitch out to getcha. shoppers beware.

interesting perspectives my ass. blah. fuck you and your incomprehensible blindness.

other than that, i've been working days for about 2-3 months now. LOVE IT. its so weird getting off when the rest of the world does. i've been either on 3rd or godforbid 2nd shift for damn near 5 years now. jeepers, thats a long time. nearly a fifth of my life ago. anywho. so, yeah, workin' days now. thought that would make me grow up a little if nothing else, in my appearance, because working days around management and the occasional customer, you need to look presentable. apparently, that's not gonna happen till somebody makes me. namely mark. cause as long as nobody else cares, quite frankly, me neitha. i'll just continue dressing like an kinder gardener. suits me fine.

one much appreciated little side effect has been my social skills in dealing with the general public. i'm far less likely to cry after taking a cussing. since i get one at least 3-4 times a week nowadays. cashiers seem to respond to me a little better since i've learned it's appropriate to speak back when they ask "how are you doing today??" this may be a disinterested question, but it is, in fact, not a rhetorical one. who knew??

my ass hurts. right NOW because i'm curled up on the floor in a weird position making the top half of my buttocks go numb. but ALSO because i was sent flying last night across the back of a car(with a route 44 lemonlimeberry slush) and ass first into a seat belt. damn that seat belt. my left ass cheek makes it look like i've been chased by snipers or something. driving like a retarded drunkass.

alright. i think somebody wants their computer back.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jane, you've got the whole thing by the balls baby and may not even realize it. I'm proud of you for making up your mind and stepping on down to better things. Keep ya head up and stay focused and you'll be fine, my dear. You know who dis is,so let's just say I'm smiling down on you today. Keep it real.....

Saturday, September 15, 2007 10:37:00 PM  

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