yawn, smack, grunt, snort
i hate this picture, but i can't seem to stop looking at it.
well, it's 3:30 am and i just got home from whoring around. man, what a night. actually, i got home yesterday, played online for about 2 hours, then fell asleep. surprise. i seriously need a hobby. or a second job. but i don't see that anywhere in my near future.
although, i actually did do a few useful things yesterday. i went grocery shopping yesterday. RESPONSIBLY. i went to the store and bought ONLY what was on my list. i wound up spending only 14 dollars. wooooo!! look at me go. once i left the store with my two tiny bags, i passed one of those christmas bell ringers for the american red cross or...........something with a red pot. a little, skinny, old black man. it was down in the 40's today. having no cash, but being the nice person that i am(wanting to be), i had an internal fight(with an extended panic attack) that lasted all the way to the nearest gas station, at the hot chocolate machine, and all the way back to kroger's. once there, it took every ounce of umph that i had to force my body out of my car. i closed my eyes as i walked up to him and told him i was sorry that i didn't carry cash, but i knew it was really cold outside and he was under no obligation to drink this, i hadn't touched it, actually there was a trash can right there if he wanted me to go ahead and throw it away for him. he kind of giggled and thanked and blessed me. he just held it as i got back in my car. yeah, he TOTALLY threw that away once i drove off. ungrateful bastard!!! i actually had to sit for a minute pretending to warm my car back up before i could drive because my vision had gone blurry from nerves. i'm hoping a cold sore does not come from this little act of kindness. i finally calmed back down about the time i hit the interstate after several minutes of intently telling myself it was the right thing to do. i'm just no good at this interacting with other people thing.
a few weeks ago, i got a no seat belt ticket right by my house. i do not take seat belts seriously and therefore do not take cops who give seat belt tickets seriously. i am not normally a rude person when it comes to people in authority, but after he turned his lights on i continued driving into my gas station and asked if i had to remain in my vehicle or if i could pump gas during this. so, i pumped gas, he did his thing, we nodded and went on our ways. i finally got off my ass to go pay that ticket today. turns out there's a 5% fee added if you pay any other way besides cash. GAY. i paid it anyway. it only came out to like a dollar twenty five or so. you can do the math yourself because i'm not going to.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand that's about it. hmm. guess i didn't do as many useful things today as i thought i had. oh well.
aw, man. it's only 3:45????????? what the crap am i supposed to do until work?? maybe i should wash clothes or bathe or something. ooh, or perhaps another nap is in order.
jane's pathetic diet: wednesday edition
i've been on a failing diet for a couple months now. when i originally started on my mostly vegetable, VERY high fiber diet, i lost 12 pounds. i am stuck on my current diet now at 140. the difference?? i've switched from little meat to no meat. (except for the rare occasional wild game) i feel like attaching the word "vegetarian" to my current diet has flipped some switch in my head. vegetarian=healthy. do you know what "vegetarians" generally eat?? well, not meat!! do you know what is considered not meat?? apples, bananas, carrots, corn, celery, broccoli, raisins, and a plethora of other yummy fruits and veggies. do you know what ELSE is considered not meat?? oreos, donuts, ice cream, frappaccino, french fries, and so on and so on. you ever seen any animals harmed in the making of an oreo?? right. i didn't think so. so, that makes them okay to eat!! but there's such a healthy aura surrounding this word. because really, when's the last time you saw a fat vegetarian?? never?? that's what i thought. i've also slacked off ENTIRELY on my exercising because of that last sentence as well. no fat vegetarians; they don't need to work out, they don't eat fat!! bam. problem solved.
el wrongo.
with this in mind, i've decided (again) to try to go back hard core on my previous diet that worked. i will still remove as much meat products as i possibly can, but i'm going to stop it with the sugars and as much carbs as i can. such an irresponsible eater i've turned out to be. today for lunch i made possibly the most disgusting looking soup i've ever seen. i tried taking a picture for you, but alas, my phone is a piece of poop and i can't seem to email pictures anymore. ahem:
1 can of market pantry homestyle italian style vegetable soup: 120 Calories for the whole can
1 can of carrots: 150 Calories, whole can
1 can of spinach: 150 Calories, whole can (but a crap TON of fiber)
1 handful of dry oatmeal: 100 Calories
salt and pepper
so, i've got 520 Calories worth of food that will last me at LEAST 2 days, if not more. assuming i do not eat it for every meal. now, it LOOKS amazingly disgusting, but it's surprisingly good. not surprisingly Great, but good. turns out that spinach has a bit of a tendency to over power the rest of the dish. not so much in flavor, but volume. once you start stirring that spinach, it just seems to get bigger. like seaweed trying to choke out all other plant life in the bottom of my ocean............pot.
anyway. today 140 lbs. next week, 135 lbs.
FINGERS CROSSED!!!
90 day jane
oddly enough, i had forgotten all about my 15 minutes of ill gotten fame about a year and a half ago. i was cleaning out my email tonight and came across MANY, MANY comments on the subject. the majority of them "hate" comments. how i was such a liar and a fraud for deceiving people this way and how because of what the clock on the comment thing posted, well i think it was fairly obvious i was in los angeles and not louisiana!! even though, i've tried repeatedly to fix the clock on here. i'm assuming it eventually fixed itself, because i was never able to do it before on the library's computers. (which is where i was forced to post during that time.) no real post here. no real story. just made me a little reminiscent of those days of eXtreme poverty living in the duplex with my nephew. day in and day out. with no entertainment except my old original nintendo and our few and far between trips to the library to play on the wonderful, glorious interwebz. oh, how that jane mix up made my month. even if i was getting mostly hate mail, it was nice to get mail from strangers. then in my search for the stories surrounding myself and the elusive californian jane, i came across this and was suddenly forced into the realization of how fucking amazingly hot i used to be. no joke. i'd lick me sideways in this picture.........assuming i had the ability. look at the picture. am i not cute as a bug??
only 17 more pounds to go!!!
this is evey's "sexy kitty" pose. right now, she's in her favorite "kitty won't get the fuck out from in front of the computer screen" pose. i seem to be in a bit of a pickle, ladies and gentlemen. #1) i can't seem to stay awake after work, which has proven to be most annoying recently. this isn't just the "oh, i can't wait to get off work so i can spank it" sleepy. by 4 pm, i'm utterly exhausted and can't hold my eyes open anymore. then i'm usually awake by somewhere around midnight, can't take a nap before work, and then i'm exhausted by 4 pm the next day. when will this ridiculously inconveniently vicious cycle end???? #2) i'm growing desperate to move. i feel like i'm in an ever sinking hole here, full of loneliness, debt, and debris (seriously, my house is like a land fill) but if i don't clean, who cares?? who do i have to clean for?? the animals?? as long as the ammonia doesn't burn their lungs right out of their chest cavities, i don't think they give a shit. or at least, they can't say so. so, what's holding me back?? besides my raging fear of change?? the little girl in the picture at the top. my kitty evey. i placed two of my cats at the houston spca. i've did a ton of research before dumping them there. i trust the people. they have the highest adoption rate of any shelter in the country. it was one of the hardest things i've ever voluntarily done and i cried my eyes out for days. i wasn't even all that attached to one of the cats and i knew it was the right thing to do with the other. it still hurt. deeply. so now, i'm stuck with 3 cats. two of which, i just can't bear the thought of parting with. evey appears to be low man on the totem pole in this one. i just can't seem to find her a home. i've been in contact with country ladies rescue in bullard, tx. very, VERY sweet older ladies who run a very small shelter out of pocket. they said they would give me a listing on pet finder, but SURPRISE, my pictures of evey don't work with their computer. what to do, what to do. i can't take her to the pound, obviously. what if she winds up being put down just because she's not young enough or cute enough?? (but seriously look at the picture. is "not cute enough" really one of her problems??) or WORSE!! what if she winds up being sold to a college laboratory for experimentation for throat cancer?!?!?!? it could happen. it does, actually, on a regular basis. in bossier, you ask?? i don't know. but other places. she's 2 years old. she's already spayed. her only real hang up is that she demands her litter box be cleaned. is that really so much to ask?? would YOU want to have to clean sopping wet kitty litter out from in between your toes when there's a perfectly good dry floor right there?? i think not. i keep it up as much as i can, but well, please refer to above discussion about squalor and laziness. she's VERY outgoing. i've even announced i'd be willing to help as much as i could with any financial issue that would come up with her. newp. nothing. i just can't seem to find anyone to take her. what am i supposed to do??
it's true!! i accidentally stumbled upon a russian gonzo(?) video the other day of an obese woman in her 40's-50's with greasy thinning hair, few teeth, wearing a red negligee ready to shake hands and blow equally unattractive middle aged man with beer belly, odd facial hair and greased head hair away!!! i promptly shut down my computer and went and prayed by the side of my bed until i felt clean. yes, that means i passed out there.
speaking of porn, i got into a discussion recently with a guy at work about how he thinks there's probably an equally large market out there who would be willing to just "look in" on girls doing every day life things. you know, changing light bulbs, or scrubbing the toilet, or washing dishes, or BATHING THE DOG!! all done in panties and tank top of course. nothing in your face pornographic, just clean voyeurism. got me to thinkin'. now i'm sure it already exists because EVERYthing already does on the internet, but if not, boy howdi. good luck to whoever reading this just stole my idea!! asshole.
speaking of work, i learned today that our biller has been unknowingly involved in outsourcing her own job to the phillipines. we got a new scanner recently to scan our bills into our imaging system, or so we thought. newp. all that's been going to an office in the phillipines so they can learn how to bill our bills. once they get up to par, we'll be letting all of our billers go company wide. great country, isn't it?? america?? whine whine whine bitch bitch bitch about bad economy, failing job markets, blah blah blah, but corporations are steadily pumping as much money straight out our government just as fast as they can write the checks. ugh.
speaking of writing checks, i haven't paid my car note this month. gotta get on that....
5 a.m. bored and trying to find new ways to call in sick to work. i feel as though i've lost my drive for nearly everything these days. what little i DO do is motivated by fear of other's people's anger. can't be late for work or my supervisor will be mad. can't call in sick because my relief girl will be mad. can't be uber vegetarian around my boyfriend because he'll leave me. can't curse around my fucking family because they'll disown me. can't wait much longer to move or else he'll be mad BUT can't manage to give away my remaining cat because she'll hate me for life. can't make eye contact with the cashier, BECAUSE WHAT IF SHE'S MAD I'M FORCING HER TO WORK?? i'll spare you the rest of the intended paragraph, but this is my life right now. it always has been to a certain extent, but i seem to have been drained of any sort of desire or drive recently. i woke up at 4 am this morning. so far?? killed some zombies, listened to some youtube, and pooped. at no point in time until just a minute ago did it occur to me to take a bath and get an extra hour of work. the extreme early mornings are always super easy and lord knows i need the money. what's a procrastinatory girl to do???????????????????
i don't even really have the desire to finish this update. fuck bathing. maybe i can find some clean smelling clothes and head on in. where's my pony tail??
pushin' up daisies
jables's impression of a dead raccoon. pretty good, eh??halloween is approaching a little quicker than expected. i've been talking about it all year like normal, but somehow it still managed to sneak up on me. i still have no costume or plans for this weekend. i originally wanted to go to on vacation this week and maybe go to salem, massachusetts or something, but due to conflicting work schedules, that didn't happen. i've been on this super nifty diet for a couple months now. i've lost ten pounds and holding, but still none of my clothes fit right. it's like i was losing, losing, losing, then bam!! nothing. just stopped. i'd like to sit here and sound all confused and surprised, but i went from a mainly vegetable extremely high fiber diet to well, i just ate 6 oreos and i've been living off of chips and salsa and bagels for the past week. my point is: i am not where i was supposed to be by halloween this year. all that great dieting and stuff was supposed to be put me at like 125 pounds and i was gonna look so adorable in that costume and blah blah blah. as always, my laziness has fucked it up. hooray for procrastination!! i fail.
i hate this picture, but i can't seem to stop looking at it. 
