Wednesday, December 30, 2009

oh, fat tummy, are you hiding a kid in there?

i often wonder the reaction i would have if i found out i was pregnant. would i be angry? i have a pretty strong stance on the breeders of our society. the one's who think there is no other way to acquire a tiny human to carry on your legacy besides brewing one on your own. people every day breed accidentally then give those accidents away or sell them. i believe the correct term is "adoption", but i think we know that it means the same thing. i've always wanted to have my tubes tied and buy one pre brewed for me. that way i could have the baby and keep the body. not to say that it's a particularly nice body, but i know basically how it works and i'd like to keep it that way. would i be sad? the body aforementioned could be destroyed in this accidental endeavor. would i be scared? my finances as a single person have never been the best. would i be able to afford to carry another person if i had to? would i have to? would "daddy" fearfully and angrily cast me aside like an old busted shoe or would he reluctantly marry me out of social obligation and pity? would i be ashamed? that i let down my own breeding standards. because the world is vastly over populated as it is and i just had to go and add yet another breeder to the world's pool. would i be ashamed to show my face? i've thought on that one alot. how embarrassed i'd be to have to go to work, knowing that i'll only get bigger and fatter and everyone will "know". what will they know exactly? that i'm not a virgin? that i've had sex? i think that secret's been out of the bag for quite some time now. would i be ashamed that i'm forgetful? like maybe if i'd remembered to take my pill at 9 pm sharp, instead of midnight when i woke up from my nap that maybe, clumsy ass, this wouldn't have happened and i deserve whatever hell and misery comes my whorish way? could i be happy? would that be possible? i'll admit, as i've gotten older, there is something about a spritely wide eyed baby that does make my uterus yearn. but is it the same way a sexy man makes my genitals yearn? just nature and genetics? and it's my job as an enlightened, conscious animal to be able to say "no" to such urges. just because i want something does not mean i'm entitled to get it. right? just because i have the equipment doesn't mean i HAVE to use it, right?

god, my stomach hurts.


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