Saturday, March 22, 2008

pharoah gobbles donkey goobers and cleopatra does the nasty

i've been meaning to update, but i have three books over due and am now terribly afraid to go to the library for fear they'll have me arrested for late fees.

my sister, her four children, and i just returned from the monroe zoo for the louisiana purchase gardens and zoological society(something or other)'s eggstravaganza. have i ever mentioned there are few plays on words that annoy me more than people playing with the word egg?? eggzactly. eggciting. eggcellent. eggvomit. barfaloney.

so, we went to the zoo and watched several hundred screaming greedy children trample each other to get to the plastic eggs that were oh-so-strategically placed on top of the grass in an open field. my nephew wound up with a few prize eggs loaded with candy and a few tickets for a sword, sidewalk chalk, and "bling". my neice wound up with i'm not sure what. oh, right. the loudest see through hot pink SCREECH horn ever in existence. oh, wait, i mean eggsistence.

after that, we tried walking around to look at all the neat animals. the first of which were two ostriches humping like wild rabbits right by the front of the fence for all the world to see. all the little kids were all like "OH, MOMMY!! LOOK HOW MEAN THAT BIG BIRD IS!! HE'S BITING THE OTHER ONE!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!" it was quite traumatic. quite. so, i had a personal moment of silence for the innocence of children, taking relief only in the knowledge that in a couple years they're gonna relive this memory and giggle slightly to themselves and realize why their mom and dad were giggling so tastelessly as a huge bird repeatedly attacked a smaller one.

poor bird.

my niece catey got to feed graham crackers to a giraffe, which was pretty friggin cool. i wanted to do it myself, but i think it was really just for the kids. so, i pussed out and didnt ask if i could.

the next two hours were a blur of CATEY, COME BACK HERE!! and BEAU!!! NO!!! and so on and so forth. fun times. fun times. cant wait to do it again. in another 15 years or so.

it saddens me to go to the monroe zoo. have you ever been there?? it has the potential to be a very good zoo. or at least a mediocre one. i believe it just needs more funding. maybe. alot of their animals are kind of sickly and most of the enclosures have the wrong plaques beside them. the buffalo cage was completely empty, but the elk cage was full of buffalo and there were never any elk to be found. the reptile house is just that. random reptilian life forms with no names. just a bunch of broken blank plaques hanging above the tanks. except the reticulated python. which was FUCKING HUGE!!! it was way more impressive than the anaconda. the reticulated python had just eaten and was sprawled out in all of it's 18-20 foot glory. he was truely beautiful.
i mean, like the anaconda really has to do that much to be impressive in and of itself. but ye olde anaconda, i guess, not feeling threatened by such a small creature, held fast to his little curled up ball he'd put himself in.

i'd go into more detail, but then i'd just sound like i'm complaining more than is actually the case. it was a fun trip, it just really does make me sad at the thought of how much better the zoo could be. and i'll leave that at that.

well, time to jump off here and skeedaddle myself on into the kitchen. these pounds arent going to put on themselves.

happy easter everybody!!


Blogger leafdot said...

I kinda hate & love zoos. I love them, because they're always amazing, no matter how sad they are, and they let folk see creatures in real life that they won't be able to under predictable circumstances. But, then there's the whole abducting and caging and misunderstanding of the animals' psychology and needs and then, yeah. (And this mislabeled signs. eesh. That is pretty sad.)

(But I have this cat, and he's sitting at the feet of my chair, and he wants me to go to fucking bed, and is probably terribly annoyed that I'm making these esoteric noises on this infernal machine, so, yeah. Abduction and misunderstanding.)

(But then I also think: it would depend, wouldn't it? Like, if I was a zoo animal, depending on the kind of zoo, it actually might suit me just fine. But I know plenty of kids that, no matter how pleasant the captivity, it wouldn't do. And maybe it wouldn't do for me, either. Suppose it's hard to know until you're there. There, in an, uh, alien zoo. I'm sure they're very common. Somewhere.)

I had this grand intention last summer of going to the Des Moines Zoo. I'm not sure why I didn't.

Here's my question... was it easier or weirder/harder for kids to grow up on farms/etc. where they were constantly forced to see the birds, bees, and, well, lions? (I mean, lions eating lambs.) I can't remember as a kid ever seeing any animals fucking, I was aware something happened, but not certain what until I was "of age." I kinda think a few earlier hints might've served me well. But then again, maybe not. (Because I do remember watching one of our angel fish eating his/her children. & that actually kinda broke my brain.)

Anyway! Enough over sharing!

Happy Easter, to you too.

Sunday, March 23, 2008 12:50:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WTF are you?

Tuesday, April 22, 2008 1:47:00 PM  

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