Tuesday, January 01, 2008

bite my lip and close my eyes; take me away to paradise

ah. beautiful masturbation. now let's get on it.

as i sat last night drunkenly pondering the mysteries of the universe, i thought of you good people. good person. my faithful reader. paul, you still read this shit?? pretending every couple of months, perhaps she'll have an update. maybe?? eh, probly not. so, for now i'll just write a letter to the believed vast emptiness of the void. maybe someone will happen upon it.

dear void,

it's that time of year again. THE BEGINNING. the time of year to gather all you've learned from the previous year's mistakes, wash you slate clean, and pretend you're not gonna do the same damn thing this year round. like keep taking back the one person who made me contemplate suicide on multiple occasions because my own worthlessness. or like fall awkwardly in some sort of love with an old friend you never should have messed with to begin with. or like fall slightly less hard for the next guy who comes along and treats you like third rate ass and insists upon calling you amos. or that thing i cant mention........jump slightly to the future, that other thing i cant mention. and, well, i just realized the rest are just things i cant mention. but we all make mistakes every year is my point. and we must try to find the reason for our errors and try not to repeat them. which brings us to the proverbial "new year resolution". you got any?? it's not a rhetorical question. i'd actually like to know.

this list was actually going to be a lot more personal, but i changed it at the last second. can you tell??

this year I:
will do crunches at LEAST once a week. it may be 3, it may be 42. but i will crunch my stomach.

will learn at least four phrases in german and wow my friends...........okay. i'll learn at least four phrases in german and have my nephew go. "huh. 'at's cool."

will get a professional hair cut.

will muster the balls to go get my tubes tied. you know it's covered by our insurance.?? turns out it's just an out patient surgery. this is actually a resolution that i will probably not keep. but would like to. do my part to contribute to the world's overpopulation problem.

will come to terms with the fact that i will never see 123 pounds again. EVER. it's just not gonna happen.

will get a new cell phone before my birthday.

will finally decide on either a tattoo or a piercing before my birthday. and DO it.

will stay single and obligation free until 2009.

this is the top part of my actual resolution list. there are a few i've kept to myself that i actually plan to hold myself to. no need for you to read those, though.

i'm being hurried off the computer which always creates a mental block when you're trying to write and constantly being asked "you ready now????" so, i guess i'll leave you good people. person. to another six months of wondering when she's gonna update and give me a bland taste of that good ole mediocrity once again. later, paul.

and for the record, i actually do like the nick name amos. i may start using it this year.

Happy New Year, Everybody!!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

My name's not Paul...

Wednesday, January 02, 2008 2:15:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Disposable Dixie-cup drinking
I assassin down the avenue
I'm hiding out in the big city blinking
What was I thinking when I let go of you?

Wednesday, January 02, 2008 2:44:00 PM  
Blogger Jane Q Doe said...

you were thinking "god, this bitch has gotten really fat and heavy."

Tuesday, January 08, 2008 2:53:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you loved me just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me?
It is I that wanted space

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

Wednesday, January 16, 2008 3:58:00 PM  

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