I HAVE FIRM BREASTS!!!

which is a concept relatively new to me. though itty and cute and perky as they were, they never had real substance. i had written a while back about the massive lump in my left boob, which when asking the doctor about it, she said "drink less caffeine". so, i tried that but the swelling nor the soreness went away and now my right one is following suit. now, they might be all painful and non touchable and what not, but they're getting to be quite eye-catching if i might say so. and its my website, so i say so. my tits is gettin' all purty like. how d'ya like that??

quite frankly thats the most interesting thing i can think to tell you people. i am developing pretty boobs. anybody wanna test my theory???


oh, and thank you anonymous and i loathe andrew dice clay, here's the real jack sprat:

Jack Sprat Could Eat No Fat

Jack Sprat could eat no fat,
His wife could eat no lean;
And so betwixt them both,
they lick'd the platter clean.

and because i like nursury rhymes:

A Man of Words and Not Deeds

A man of words and not of deeds
Is like a garden full of weeds
And when the weeds begin to grow
It's like a garden full of snow
And when the snow begins to fall
It's like a bird upon the wall
And when the bird away does fly
It's like an eagle in the sky
And when the sky begins to roar
It's like a lion at the door
And when the door begins to crack
It's like a stick across your back
And when your back begins to smart
It's like a penknife in your heart
And when your heart begins to bleed
You're dead, and dead, and dead indeed.

no personal hate intended in this post. any personal hate you may have felt flaking off onto you, please take that as just your own paranoia.