Wednesday, September 09, 2009

I'll follow you into the dark

i got on Lexapro last week for my depression and anxiety swings. i spent the majority of my weekend unconscious and apathetic about most everything. a little too apathetic. needless to say, i was not depressed OR anxious about ANYTHING for a good 5 days straight. i finally took myself off of lexapro monday. why?? well, without going into extensively offensive detail, i had the most desensitized sex of my life this weekend and didn't really care at the time. this was the final straw in the un-jane-ing jane project. i won't have it. if nothing else, i have damn great sex and will not give up my gasms for you or anyone else, mr. lexapro!!

so, on my road back to normaldom, monday was filled with nervous twitches all the way back to louisiana.

tuesday was horribly, HORRIBLY, (i'm not sure if horribly really quantifies the magnitude of the situation) horribly depressing. my throat felt like it was asleep is the best way to describe that. no desire to speak. barely the physical ability. the thought of connecting eye to eye with anyone infuriated and terrified me. i was on the verge of vomiting the majority of the day. my stomach twisted in knots every time someone got near me. ugh. yesterday was SUCH a bad day. i wound up leaving work early to come home, attempt to spank it, and fall asleep. alone. with no one on earth around. at all. it was nice.

here are at wednesday. i started my period last night and i've been bursting with blood and energy all day today. it's been GREAT!! buzzed around the office all day like a little bee. got 100% caught up on my work (except for that dasted ISO report i've been putting off for the last month.) and actually wound up leaving a little early because i couldn't find anything else to do and i was about to explode. went grocery shopping. came home. paid my house note. napped as is my afternoon ritual and have been cleaning house for about 2 hours now since i woke up. i feel great. my house doesn't smell quite so toilet like. i just feel all around "accomplished" today. nothing super spectacular or anything. just had a super dee duper good day. wish they were all like today.

perhaps i'm just bipolar...........


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