i'm not as callous as you think; i barely breathe when you are near

guess who's got the internet?? hmmmmmmmmm?? go ahead, guess!! alright, i'll tell you. 'tis i. your humble jane. tippity typing you these words from my very own bedroom. much excitement floweth forth. in case i hadn't mentioned it before, i was previously borrowing cable left behind from the previous residents. when the internet guys got here to hook up this beautiful wonder, they asked me if i had cable television. "no?? there's a bunch of wires laying on my bedroom floor, but they've been there since i've moved in. i'm not sure what they go to or do." so, after the guys left, i played on here for a while then went and sat down in my living room to watch some tv before bed. well, guess what?? no more cable. dirty ethical bastards.

did i tell you i'd been on a diet recently?? no?? good. 'cause it'd be a lie. i was bored the other night when i came home from work and proceeded to gobble down two hot dogs w/bag o'chips and a coke. shortly thereafter, i finished off a tub of lime sherbet. aaaaaaaand then even shortly after THAT, i ate two waffles drenched in butter and syrup w/a nice big glass of milk. then i passed out. i'd actually bought some lean cuisine's the last time i went shopping and they were, meh, okay, but last night was the first time i'd had a smartone. waaay, WAY better. you should try them if you haven't already.

i lost six pounds from being sick last week and i'm not sure what the hell happened 'cause i haven't been eating that much more, but my weight has plateaued back out around 148. : ( i'd kill to be under 140 again. i'd do something even worse to be back under 130 again, but i don't see that happening any time in the next 30 years....i was listening to a comedian the other day talking about how you used to could bounce a quarter off his wife's ass and now she looks like she's smuggling wet laundry in the seat of her pants. i laughed my ass off till i realized thats kinda what i remind myself up. then i shut up and sat quietly and prayed no one will ever look at my droopy ass again.

i realize at the same time, 2 years ago when i was all toned and stuff i constantly complained about being fat. so, 2-3 years from NOW, i'll be looking back wishing i could get this body back. you never realize how good you look until you no longer do. you always look better in retrospect. i'll stop my whinin'.