white trash devil child

good morning. i woke up this morning to the sound of the alarm. i got up, tinkled, and let the dog out to do the same. i snuck back to bed for a possible two to three more hours of catnapping. suddenly, there's a knock at the door. well, now who could that be?? i say who is it, no answer...who is it, theres no answer....who..................sorry, i got lost in a weird al song i'm sure none of you have ever heard, so let me come back. so, i go over and i open the door and just as i suspected; there's some big fat hermaphrodite with a flock of seagulls haircut and only one nostril. ah, man i hate it when i'm right. yeah, i just really, really have that song stuck in my head today. anywho, so i got up to see who was at the door because i hadnt heard a car, but heard a black man talking. i'm no racist...or not like i used to be....but things like that just dont happen where i live. i opened the door anyway and there was a nice elderly jehovah's witness standing at the door who i swear could be morgan freeman's twin brother. i felt kinda awkward as he looked me up and down with my wild, matted, slept on hair. my black mascara stained eyes, my tribal design "wicked" tank with no bra, and all the way down to my black toenails. we exchanged uncomfortable pleasantries as both the dogs got into the house and he went on to explain the pamphlet he was giving me about who john was really talking about when he was prophesying about the anti-christ. turns out its not bill clinton afterall. i really have heard that many times. so, i promised him i'd read it and he left in the direction of my parents house. i'm genuinely interested to hear that story later. i just hope he didnt get shot. so, i've started reading said pamphlet and so far i'm not impressed. now granted, its been a long time since i've been to church or done any serious reading in the field, but said pamphlet suggests that the anti-christ isnt a real person, but more an idea. if people do not believe in christ that they themselves are the embodiment of the anti-christ. which im having a bit of a hard time with. i'd go into the reasons why i say that, but i'm no longer educated enough to state my case, so i'll just leave you with i got to meet morgan freeman today...